If I stop snorting coco pops will I end up with a bloated face or is that the camera man shooting at me from a bad angle?
Kids, Lindsay Lohan is making news again with the latest revelations that our collective wild child is now going the straight and narrow and putting away the bad toys and the bad people in her life away.
Hustling her pony act to Today’s Matt Lauer, America’s favorite media whore du jour told Matt that she wants to regain her career, put the good shit away and whatever else she could remember to say that her publicist had told her to say earlier that day.
“I’ve become a kind of homebody.” (translated from publicist media smack to ‘I’ve become a kind of nobody irrelevant now that I am going cold turkey.’)
Of course what was interesting to note was Ms Lohan’s appearance prior to the taping of the show which should go live in our living rooms once the Godess Sheba of Good Funk and Baloney blesses it with her magic wand. Appearing slightly puffy in the face without a corresponding weight gain in her body, rumors started to make their way that her highness has been overtly indulging alongside many other name brand media whores with cheek fillers and other refined drilling techniques.
Which posits the obvious question, if Ms Lohan’s purported glamorous appearances are a consequence of tug and pull and insert whatever silicone good funk to make it a shiny day contraption how far should we go in believing our collective royal highness when she insists the spills and stains are over when the spills and stains have migrated to her disgorged face?
Isn’t it time you became a Hollywood phony unless you already are?