Lindsay Lohan announces she is now clean. But what happened to her face?

Lindsay Lohan announces she is now clean. But what happened to her face?

Lindsay Lohan: 'I've become a kind of homebody.'

If I stop snorting coco pops will I end up with a bloated face or is that the camera man shooting at me from a bad angle?

Kids, Lindsay Lohan is making news again with the latest revelations that our collective wild child is now going the straight and narrow and putting away the bad toys and the bad people in her life away.

Hustling her pony act to Today’s Matt Lauer, America’s favorite media whore du jour told Matt that she wants to regain her career, put the good shit away and whatever else she could remember to say that her publicist had told her to say earlier that day.

“I’ve become a kind of homebody.” (translated from publicist media smack to ‘I’ve become a kind of nobody irrelevant now that I am going cold turkey.’)

Lindsay Lohan announces she is now clean. But what happened to her face?

Lindsay Lohan. Notice anything?

Of course what was interesting to note was Ms Lohan’s appearance prior to the taping of the show which should go live in our living rooms once the Godess Sheba of Good Funk and Baloney blesses it with her magic wand. Appearing slightly puffy in the face without a corresponding weight gain in her body, rumors started to make their way that her highness has been overtly indulging alongside many other name brand media whores with cheek fillers and other refined drilling techniques.

Which posits the obvious question, if Ms Lohan’s purported glamorous appearances are a consequence of tug and pull and insert whatever silicone good funk to make it a shiny day contraption how far should we go in believing our collective royal highness when she insists the spills and stains are over when the spills and stains have migrated to her disgorged face?

Isn’t it time you became a Hollywood phony unless you already are?

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Lilo appears in court dressed like a Stepford wife. Inches away from freedom at last.

Lindsay Lohan gets into an altercation at the Standard hotel after accused of wearing a wig.

New Lindsay Lohan photo shoot: cleavage, nipples and wanton lust.

My hero Lilo arrives to NYC with a new poodle coat and what appears to be a pronounced double chin.

Yippe my hero Lilo changed her mind and is now heading off to Dubai for star studded new year’s eve bash.

This can’t be true? My hero Lilo turns down easy New Year’s Eve money…

My hero Lindsay Lohan would like to inform all you haters that her Playboy cover spread is selling like hot cakes at the news stands.

Please Lindsay Lohan what’s up with the double chin lately?

The courts heap praise on our hero Lindsay Lohan as a criminal reincarnate.

Lindsay Lohan’s only unairbrushed Playboy shot released.

Breaking news: Lindsay Lohan finds her missing purse minus $10 000.

Lindsay Lohan Playboy entire photo spread leaked on line. Bye bye one million dollars.

My hero released from jail after only 4 and half hours. Pass me champagne!

My hero Lindsay Lohan crashes J. Edgar movie premiere party and freaks A listers out.»

MY HERO LINDSAY LOHAN IS ORDERED TO GO BACK TO JAIL.

LINDSAY LOHAN: LOOK AT ME, NO MORE METH TEETH (FOR NOW).

MY HERO LINDSAY LOHAN AGREES TO SPREAD FOR PLAYBOY FOR A COOL $1 MILLION BUCKS.

MICHAEL LOHAN: ‘I THINK MY LITTLE GIRL IS A CRACKHEAD.’

Oh no! Lindsay Lohan scores herself a 5th mugshot picture.

Lindsay Lohan would like to explain how she ended up looking like a fashion faux pas in overdrive in court today.

My favorite hero’s probation is revoked. Lindsay Lohan bail set at $100 000.

IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH A GRADE CELEBRITY WHORE THESE TEETH BELONG TO.

LINDSAY LOHAN, MY FAVORITE HAWT MESS IS BEING SUED AGAIN…

LINDSAY LOHAN TRIES TO BUY $5000 WORTH OF CLOTHES WITH NO MONEY OR CREDIT. SECURITY CAMERAS WATCHED HER CAREFULLY.

Lindsay Lohan is now living the life of a haute couture fashion model courtesy of designer Philip Plein.»

LINDSAY LOHAN CAUSES A SCENE AS SHE TELLS OFF HER MILLIONAIRE BOYFRIEND’S MODEL WIFE.

Did Lindsay Lohan slice up a fellow reveler at V magazine’s party at the Boom Boom room last night?

Gawd no! Don’t let this be Moma Lohan making out with the wicked wench of Crack-ville!!

Marc Jacobs has Lindsay Lohan kicked out of his after party.»

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS PAPARAZZO THROWN OUT OF FASHION TENTS.

LINDSAY LOHAN TO JUDGE; ” I CAN’T AFFORD COUNSELING BUT I SURE CAN AFFORD $1200 LOUBOUTINS.”

LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS TO SHOW YOU HER POOLSIDE POT BELLY.

LINDSAY LOHAN- A PERFECT BELLIGERENT MESS(AGAIN).

LINDSAY LOHAN GOES FOR THE SHEER LOOK.

GUESS WHICH DRUNK BITCH THIS IS?

PAYOLA: STARRING LINDSAY LOHAN AND CO.

LINDSAY LOHAN JUST WANTS TO PARTY ALL THE TIME.

IS THIS ONE READY TO COME OUT OF THE OVEN YET?

Say goodbye to Lindsay Lohan. Oh the tears…

IS LINDSAY LOHAN GETTING READY TO RETURN TO JAIL?

THE PAPARAZZI PHOTO THAT SET POLICE ON LILO

LINDSAY LOHAN ACCUSED OF STEALING A $5000 NECKLACE.

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  • Anonymous

    People who are really clean and sober know, to the minute, how long it’s been. She’s lying through her newly capped teeth. Shame on Matt Lauer and every other celebrity interviewer for NEVER asking the follow up questions.

  • Concerned

    May GOD be with Lindsay Lohan.

  • http://thatsonecrazycanadianbitch.blogspot.com/ HJB

    Coke bloat pure and simple.

  • Lilah Neal

    It’s all well and good to want a happy ending, but blindly accepting whatever bunk an addict is spewing without asking the hard questions isn’t the way to go about it.
    If she’s not back to her 2am crack tweeting in six months, I’ll be very surprised.

  • Toni

    Two things jump out at me right away. 1st, as 6of7 says below, anyone who’s TRULY newly sober knows exactly how long it’s been, down to the day and the hour. I’m not saying she’s lying about being sober … it’s now a month later (mid-April), and she’s looking MUCH better (and much less puffy) these days, so I hope she really is clean and sober … more likely, she doesn’t want to SAY publicly exactly how long it’s been, because it’s not been such a “long, long time” as she wants people to think it has.
    2nd, don’t you love how she dances around the Whitney Houston question? “No, it didn’t affect me on a personal level … uh, I really don’t want to talk about it.” Clearly it did affect her, or she wouldn’t have reacted the way she did. And I agree, shame on Lauer for not calling her on either of these painfully obvious screw-ups.

    Linsday, I’m pulling for you, I really am. But if you’re going to go on a PR campaign to tell people you’re clean and sober, you need to be PREPARED for questions like these and have an answer ready for them, instead of floundering around with a lot of “wells,” “uhms,” and “I means,” and then trying to change the topic. Because from the looks of this interview, you are just not believable. Ill-advised campaign … but then again, that’s no surprise with Dina Lohan as mommager. Linsday getting out from under HER influence – at least as a business manager – would be one of the best things she could possibly do. With Dina as a mother she was pretty much screwed from the start. Good luck, Linds.