I think it’s better I stick to licking my wet plastic cocoa bags in the privacy of my own home.’
In the latest developments in the saga called ‘diary of a broken record,’ our hero Lindsay Lohan has purportedly turned down lucrative offers to attend a variety of upcoming new years eve bashes in order in her own words to change her party image. Come again?!!
Which although on the surface sounds commendable if you’re an aspiring Mormon or a nun in remission what are we to think when on the one day of the year the whole world is living the aspirational lifestyle that our hero gets to live on a staid Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night (well just add every night if you catch my drift bixches) she decides on some stupid idealistic notion to take a break? Please girlfriend! You know cocoa boy is going to be calling you until you finally relent and brings back those bricks. Who you fooling?
Never mind whilst you’re out rolling in the gutter with tin foil scraping your backside, a half empty bottle of champagne running down your chin, Lilo will stoically look out the window and languidly count down; ‘5,4, 3, 2, 1- ‘Been there done that. Happy 2012 bixches!’
Please Lindsay Lohan what’s up with the double chin lately?
The courts heap praise on our hero Lindsay Lohan as a criminal reincarnate.
Lindsay Lohan’s only unairbrushed Playboy shot released.
Breaking news: Lindsay Lohan finds her missing purse minus $10 000.
Lindsay Lohan Playboy entire photo spread leaked on line. Bye bye one million dollars.
My hero released from jail after only 4 and half hours. Pass me champagne!
My hero Lindsay Lohan crashes J. Edgar movie premiere party and freaks A listers out.»
MY HERO LINDSAY LOHAN IS ORDERED TO GO BACK TO JAIL.
LINDSAY LOHAN: LOOK AT ME, NO MORE METH TEETH (FOR NOW).
MY HERO LINDSAY LOHAN AGREES TO SPREAD FOR PLAYBOY FOR A COOL $1 MILLION BUCKS.
MICHAEL LOHAN: ‘I THINK MY LITTLE GIRL IS A CRACKHEAD.’
Oh no! Lindsay Lohan scores herself a 5th mugshot picture.
My favorite hero’s probation is revoked. Lindsay Lohan bail set at $100 000.
IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH A GRADE CELEBRITY WHORE THESE TEETH BELONG TO.
LINDSAY LOHAN, MY FAVORITE HAWT MESS IS BEING SUED AGAIN…
LINDSAY LOHAN CAUSES A SCENE AS SHE TELLS OFF HER MILLIONAIRE BOYFRIEND’S MODEL WIFE.
Did Lindsay Lohan slice up a fellow reveler at V magazine’s party at the Boom Boom room last night?
Gawd no! Don’t let this be Moma Lohan making out with the wicked wench of Crack-ville!!
Marc Jacobs has Lindsay Lohan kicked out of his after party.»
LINDSAY LOHAN HAS PAPARAZZO THROWN OUT OF FASHION TENTS.
LINDSAY LOHAN TO JUDGE; ” I CAN’T AFFORD COUNSELING BUT I SURE CAN AFFORD $1200 LOUBOUTINS.”
LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS TO SHOW YOU HER POOLSIDE POT BELLY.
LINDSAY LOHAN- A PERFECT BELLIGERENT MESS(AGAIN).
LINDSAY LOHAN GOES FOR THE SHEER LOOK.
GUESS WHICH DRUNK BITCH THIS IS?
PAYOLA: STARRING LINDSAY LOHAN AND CO.
LINDSAY LOHAN JUST WANTS TO PARTY ALL THE TIME.
IS THIS ONE READY TO COME OUT OF THE OVEN YET?
Say goodbye to Lindsay Lohan. Oh the tears…
IS LINDSAY LOHAN GETTING READY TO RETURN TO JAIL?
THE PAPARAZZI PHOTO THAT SET POLICE ON LILO
LINDSAY LOHAN ACCUSED OF STEALING A $5000 NECKLACE.
