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NSFW: Solo Sperm donator wants to show you how he masturbates the good stuff in front of 3 million visitors.

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Image via Gawker. Trent A
Image via Gawker. Trent Arsenault.

Seems like Trent Arsenault has become the go to guy for to donator sperm for your unborn baby. To date our hero, a chicken boned 37 year old techie at Trent Arsenault who gives away his love juices gratis (that’s free for all you don’t have a degree in latin) has donated (for a lack of a better adjective) his sperm to a total of less than 14 couples. His stated motivation? That everyone who wants to have themselves a baby and doesn’t have the big bucks to go through sperm banks can go through him. Such a sweetheart really.

To facilitate his endeavors, Trent has created his own website which allows prospective parents to get a close look at what their future baby might look like (and judging from the above picture really how could you resist, right?). Problem is what Trent is doing is illegal. Well that’s what the FDA thinks anyway:

mercurynews: The FDA, which regulates sperm banks, has issued Arsenault a cease-and-desist order. It states Arsenault’s Fremont “firm” is distributing semen and is therefore a “manufacturer of human cells, tissues, and cellular and tissue-based products.”

The FDA alleges that Arsenault did not take the legally required precautions to prevent the spread of communicable diseases.

He could be liable for a $100,000 fine and up to a year in prison. Arsenault is the first-known private sperm donor in the U.S. to face FDA sanction.

But now things have just got a little bit hairy for our fearless sperm donor who it seems was now getting himself a lot of media congratulatory back slapping: “We can’t think of a better biological father than Trent Arsenault. Would you really rather trust some no-name who came in a cup for $50?”

The point of contention you wonder? Let’s see what salacious gunk gawker came up with regarding our selfless hero (get ready for some very dicey photos kids…ugh)

gawker: A longtime acquaintance of Arsenault’s pointed out to us that Arsenault is extremely fond of posting explicit videos and pictures of his sperm donations on the web.

Aresnault’s two Xtube accounts (NSFW and NSFW) feature more than 100 videos of him masturbating into sterile collection cups, using unusual aids like a water polo ball and frozen packs of organic blueberries. (Trent exclusively drinks blueberry smoothies for breakfast and dinner to boost his sperm count.) Trent’s something of a celebrity on Xtube: his videos have racked up a cumulative 3 million views. Even our slutty, NSFW friends over at Fleshbot took a shine to him.

Hmm, now isn’t that finger looking good? Junior’s donor daddy an internet porn star? But really why should prospective parents complain, after all what Trent does in his own spare time is his business and that of 3 million viewers, but then again there is that awkward moment when Junior one day comes to find out his existence was born in a sterile cup that his daddy jacked off into live in front of 3 million users. As honorable as Trents intentions maybe let’s fess up there’s something very sleazy about it. Right?

But of course it only gets better (are you really surprised?):

Then there’s the gallery of Trent masturbating in an airplane lavatory, captioned with “Snakes on a Plane” jokes. Trendude.com is an underwear modeling site where the most-popular gallery has over 400,000 views.

My my Trent is a very busy boy isn’t he? So it now turns out that Trent is also a part time underwear model whose shlong gets to hang out for the viewing (masturbatory) pleasure of other like minded souls. As you can imagine Trent keeps all this information about himself very private (can you guess why?), which raises the moral question, should Trent disclose his past times to his clients or is it really none of their concern, after all potential parents aren’t told nothing about sperm bank donors extra curricular activities either.

But if you’re still undecided, let’s put the following teasing scene into your mind: Your child comes running home 9 years into the future tears flooding his cheeks. Concerned, you ask what’s the matter and that’s when Junior takes you to these porno sites with Junior’s biological daddy jerking it off with a wide grin in front of 3 million satisfied customers. The product of his loins standing there petrified and disheartened in front of you….

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