Funeral homes introduce machines which turn bodies into brown syrup . The end of cremation…

Funeral homes introduce machines which turn bodies into brown syrup . The end of cremation...

In you go...

There may well be many ways to die, but it seems there also may soon be many ways of how to deal with the dead as well. Leading the charge in new ways of disposing of the dead comes a process that has started to catch fire with funeral homes- otherwise known as body liquefaction.

So how does body liquefaction work exactly? Brace yourselves…

dailymail.co.uk: A stainless steel machine dissolves a corpse in just under three hours, and the ‘brownish, syrupy’ liquid is then pumped into the municipal water system.

The bones remaining can be ground down and returned to the family, rather like ashes from a cremation.

Frankly the whole process doesn’t sound too beguiling, but really what do you care when you’re dead? Then of course there’s the cost to consider (it’s cheaper), you wont take up space on some plot of land, it’s environmentally favorable (another plus), you get to swim the waterways eternally (at least in spirit), but on the downside no one can ever come run and exhume you, body snatch you or even just drop by and plop a bundle of flowers on your death anniversary.

The process introduced by a Glasgow company (Resomation Ltd) works via a process involving alkaline hydrolysis, which without getting too technical, helps facilitate your body to a high state of temperature where it comfortably burns into a liquid emulsion. The thought of which must be making some of you smack your lips in jubilation as you now probably consider new plans in arriving at your imminent death so as to take advantage of the new death converter. Yes, the early bid always wins…

Expect Florida to be one of the first states in bringing this new device to roost. Happy death….

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  • Buddy Dealer

    “the ‘brownish, syrupy’ liquid is then pumped into the municipal water system.”

    Surely they mean ‘municipal sewer system. Right?

    Right?

    Please?

  • What Ever

    What a piece-of-shit site. Brilliant idea, having an ad overlap half the page every two seconds. Seriously, TWO SECONDS, and it disregards the “close” button.

    FUCK YOU.