Home Scandal and Gossip Brad Pitt confesses being married to Jen Aniston was like watching paint...

Brad Pitt confesses being married to Jen Aniston was like watching paint dry on the wall.

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Brad really wants you to understand how dull and pathetic his life to Jen really was. Spilling the beans is always a good way to leave on good terms or is it?

Kids, I’ve probably gone through half a pint of tequila choc chip ice cream this morning, my eyes glued to the savage account that our collective hawt stud Brad Pitt gives in an uncensored account with Parade magazine in lieu of his unflattering marriage to hawt bixch Jennifer Aniston.

parade: “I spent the ‘90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself. I think that my marriage [to actress Jennifer Aniston] had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”

Kids, what are we to make of this? Somehow like you I thought Hollywood hawt bixches always lived the scandalous good life, but apparently Brad has gone spilled the caviar box on the kitchen floor…

But of course sensing a poisonous box of hate mail courtesy of Jen arriving on his door step, Brad had this to offer, cause hedging one’s public relations image will always take precedence to a good yarn…

“It grieves me that this was interpreted this way,” he says. “Jen is an incredibly giving, loving, and hilarious woman who remains my friend. It is an important relationship I value greatly. The point I was trying to make is not that Jen was dull, but that I was becoming dull to myself – and that, I am responsible for.”

The moral of the lesson? Sometimes being steeped in woe and self deprecation is a wonderful delusion that even Hollywood starlets are even loathe to abide by until one day they look outside the window and that horrible thing called self loathing. Never mind, I’m sure Jen appreciates having a fistful of muckery thrown in her direction, after all it’s bound to help her ratings, unless of course it doesn’t…

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  • Isabelita

    He sounds like such a comfortably smug dickhead.

  • Alice

    Brad Pitt is so handsome and so hot, but what he said on his interview with Parade is just nasty. What an eye opener. He looks like a million bucks but after this I see he’s just worthless. What a jerk.