Home Scandal and Gossip Utah beer thief tells clerk, “I’m not paying, but I’ll be right...

Utah beer thief tells clerk, “I’m not paying, but I’ll be right over there”

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In Salt Lake City, it’s only polite to confess to your crimes in advance.  When helping yourself to a few books in the shop, tell the clerk you’re don’t feel like they’re worth money.  When mopping some lipstick, just tell the shopgirl you don’t have any cash.  And if those Mormons give you grief, just say, “Fine, if you want to call the cops, I’ll be outside by the park bench.”

The Salt Lake Tribune reports that 29-year-old-man went into a 7-Eleven, took two 40’s of likely pretty cheap beer, told the clerk he wasn’t paying, and waited in a nearby park for police to arrive.

Well, the clerk did in fact call the cops, and when they approached the man—in the park, right where he said he’d be—things got violent.  The man challenged the cops to a fight, took a swing, then got arrested for: suspicion of assault on an officer, resisting arrest (he kind of welcomed it, did he not?), retail theft, and having an open container of alcohol in public.

Now, this is Utah, and with that state’s strictest of alcohol sale restrictions and only half the alcohol content, I bet he couldn’t even buy the beer in the first place.  10 pm on a Tuesday?  I doubt that’s up to regulation.  The man was probably fed up and wanted to go out swinging.

So as you can see, the stricter the restriction, the more audacious the crime.

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