In Niceville, Florida, a woman was meeting her ex to finally get back her goddamn clothes. That’s when he threatened to kill her (which probably explains the ex part…) and her children; and that’s when she called the police.
Turns out the man wasn’t the brightest of masterminds by the time the cops made their way over, you’ll understand in a minute what I mean…
Northwest Florida Daily News: The officers easily located the vehicle and when an officer asked the man about the woman’s clothing he said “he did not have any of her clothes except for two shirts,” the summons stated. As the two continued to speak, the man changed his story about whether or not he had her clothing in the car and so the officer asked him to open the vehicle’s trunk.
Word to the wise: when denying a wrong, spin a consistent spiel at the very least. I suppose all the drugs the maniac was on wasn’t helping: after police noticed quite a few pill bottles lying around the car, a drug dog came over and officers proceeded to find “two hypodermic needles between the roof panel and the roof, a marijuana pipe just above the rear view mirror and two partially smoked marijuana cigarettes in the center console. The man was arrested and charged with possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana and possession of narcotic equipment.”
Fortunately, the woman was returned her clothing, and did not have to set foot in the godforsaken place known as Walmart. Here’s to thinking she’ll have better luck with men in the future.