Why older men lust after young women?

Why older men lust after young women?

From the screen version of Lolita starring Jeremy Irons.

It seems natural for us guys to chase after young women. One could argue it’s iron coded into our genetic codes (to keep the species moving along so it seems), endemic in all our advertising and our fascination for forever being young. That said perhaps we really ought to ask why is this the case and why aren’t women chasing after young guys (and of course some of you are) and what this says about the stasis of the sexes…

The other day I was having a talk with a friend who is in his mid 50’s and he mentioned why is it that he doesn’t see women older than 30 in the scene. To paraphrase him: “When I was 20 I was going after 20 year old girls, when I was 30-once again I was chasing 20 year old girls, same when I became 40 and now that I’m in my 50’s I’m still chasing after the 20 year olds.”

Should I have been concerned with my friend’s pursuits or ticked off to the idea that all men at the end of the day aspire to the graces of women in their 20’s? On one hand studies have argued that a woman reaches her peak aesthetic looks at age  31 and from there on it’s all downhill. But is that to say all us men want are beautiful women to look at or is that so often part of the package women sell themselves (which is to say- so many of you women despite your liberated sense of being, still make a big deal about extolling your looks- so is it any wonder at the end of day judge you on these factors)?

In Hugo Schwyer‘s essay over at Goodmenproject, the author asks the following provocative question- ‘Is it natural for older guys to lust after young women,’ the author makes an astute observation: Spare me the arguments from biology or evolutionary psychology, the ones that excuse predatory old guys from staring at “young firm flesh” because that flesh belongs to a woman near the peak of her fertility. The great lengths to which countless men go to avoid fatherhood suggests that the continued evolutionary imperative to “spread one’s seed” is oversold to the point of being illusory. No one thinks babies were the first thing on the mind of Jason Statham when he started dating a 23-year-old Victoria’s Secret model, or that Sean Penn (50) is motivated by the desire to start a family with Scarlett Johansson, who’s barely half his age. This is about the cultural cachet of dating a much younger woman—and about the difficult-to-deny reality that younger women lack the experience and wisdom to call their older lovers on their bullshit.

Which is to say that it’s become socially correct for a male much older than a woman to have aspirations to younger women. Of course when an older women in the public eye starts dating a younger man- already she’s deemed the cougar and in essence we’ve been put on guard against her type and are to observe her with some distrust. True, it may be less of a discussion point of women dating younger men, but it never fails to provoke the idea that somehow she is a baby snatcher. Never mind that it could have more to do with the fact that a woman in her 30’s or 40’s has a type of alluring cache that most women don’t offer in their 20’s- aside from their looks…

Why older men lust after young women?

  • http://Facebook Charles

    I think it is very hard for a man to except that he is ageing a nd by being with a younger woman it makes him feel younger again. Don’t get me wrong there are quite a few younger woman that besides the beauty of their faces and the toneish of their skin have it very together mentally those are real catches and want to be with you for who you are vnot the gold diggers that are out for one thing and they really don’t care about the other person at all

  • me

    Why is there a question mark in the title of this article?

  • David

    As a single male who’s now 43 and works in Theatre and the Film Business.. women in my own age bracket are very taken with families and husbands, or they’re … well.. they’re ( I don’t know where they are ..Yoga classes maybe, seeing regional theatre and musicals… ) Plus, it’s my business… women in their 30’s and up in the live arts… seriously I could shoot a cannon…and not hit one….

    But, even in the real world… Eligible women, somewhere around 32 and up just sort of dissappear from the places that single guys still hang out in the dating scene ( downtown night clubs, bars ) The great ones are all scooped up by 28.

    And, the rest…. after a while they even disappear from the places and things that males pursue as hobbies… mountian biking , team sports, rock climbing, etc….

    Or, they’re in super pressure, business career mode after suffering as somebodies assistant thru their 20’s and have no time to date. ( Or, in my case, don’t find a cutural blue collar worker an attractive male partner … I’ve had women in their 30’s say they dated film techs like me in their 20’s and would never do it again ) Or they’re traveling on their own or with best friends, having waited to long to find that guy with the same wanderlust.

    Plus, and maybe it ‘s because for every terrible woman I’ve had a relationship with, there’s 10 times more Guy douch-bags.. SIngle women in the world have put up with so many broken promisses and cheating then I ever had and they’re just …well… Done with guys… or very hurt, and bitter.

    But, young women?! they’re happy, open and interesting and enjoying guys seeing them for sexual beings, and older guys aren’t so alkward or fast talkers as 20 something guys… , and 20 year old women these days? … they’re so fascinating, and cultured, they have so much potential. Plus as an older guy I don’t expect to get anywhere with them… so I’m not desperate… and women of any age can smell desparation like a cheap perfume on a guy…. So, I do better by far with 20 something women now as a 40 year old then I ever did when I was their age…. BUT, those attractive single women my age that might give me a chance? Stop being so aloof or bitter… I’m waiting… The 20 year old always do the math about a few weeks in and stop comming over…

  • http://goo.gl/obiC Balls

    For men who don’t want to end up manginas their entire lives: http://goo.gl/obiC

  • Darc

    > The great lengths to which countless men go to avoid fatherhood suggests that the continued evolutionary imperative to “spread one’s seed” is oversold to the point of being illusory.

    Complete misunderstanding of evo-psych, here. Genes don’t have volition, but a gene that encourage male promiscuity with young fertile women will simply spread by mechanical process throughout a population (promiscuity with fertile women -> more children -> more promiscuous males). Social factors like birth control methods are a recent innovation which are genetically insignificant, compared to primates’ millions of years of evolution.

    In short, men are wired to find young fertile women desirable not because they want to have babies, but because their ancestors who exhibited that behavior had more children than those who didn’t. It’s not rocket science. Of course, social conditioning and aberrant behavior (genetic outliers) can and do influence mate selection, but statistically speaking, the evolutionary trend is dominant.

    An old fat woman simply has less sexual value than a young healthy one, for the majority of the male population. And it has next to nothing to do with social factors, despite what PC “thinkers” believe.

  • thewiseone

    the true reason u sad old buggers even when a have a younger women still hanker after more cause your greedy and pathetic!. truth is your balls shrink as well as your brains and you think a younger model will make you feel younger, rain check, most of you are sad old gits who cant please a woman sorry u dont get erections much or cant actualy ejaculation during sex, not much sperm so you seek a younger version of your wife to try and prove your a man hey asswipes… your not i never had a baby with my “fantastic older man “, i had my kids by two young lads when i was young not by my usless old turd of a man. remember that sory saddos your dick may not work now and again and u luck few even your shrunken balls might, but these lovely fertile young women may put up with you for a while if your ritch, even a bit longer when she sleeps with others behind your back with much younger men by the way! i hope by the way you sad gits ending up with the gold diggers and silicone tits more than anything your lovely wives or exes end up with a much younger fertile guy with big balls as well as the rest, i tell you know they deserve it more than you sad creatures!

  • tracythewiseone

    oh and by the way i actualy used to love my partner, he wasnt ritch but i thort he was nice and kind , i was never botherd about money, even then he always gorped at the sunday sport and page threes, anything in a short skirt tits hanging out or low top and still would even with a 23 yr old women and him being a not the best looking of men at all! and him being 34, ladies if your reading this, if you are as hard as nails and want the daft gits money and screw them for all you can go for it thats there prob . if not try and find someone you love if thats poss. go for it dont settle for a stupid older man with a big wallet and nothing else

  • Roadrunner

    You sound like a jilted old Hag ..prob with a mostash and breast down to her knees…sorry to inform u but us guys age with style..and take care of our younger woman in bed as well…either way ur just a bitter bit– who has slept around and has two kids from two different guys…u sound like a real “keeper”…