E! Online : Martha Stewart needed a plastic surgeon Tuesday after her otherwise adorable French bulldog Francesca, apparently startled out of her nap, slammed right into the media icon’s face.
Yes, imagine, dear little Francesca, curled up on her 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, the smell of cinnamon filling her wet little nose, waking peacefully from sleep, only to see the face of Martha Stewart just a few inches away.
That wouldn’t be enough to startle you?
“She bolted upright with such force that she hit me in the face like a boxing glove hitting an opponent’s face,” Stewart blogged today. “I was entirely startled and my neck snapped back. I felt a bit of whiplash as blood gushed forth from my split lip. Frannie was as upset as I was and cowered in her bed.”
Oh, Martha, you can make even the most gruesome situations sound so lovely. But really, did Frannie cower on her bed because she hurt you, or because you probably went ape shit as blood gushed down your face and seeped into your uber-expensive linens?
Always the sadist perfectionist, Martha got to the plastic surgeon, and made it on time to her nine AM taping of The Martha Stewart Show where she retold her adventure to the plastic surgeon, then continued back to business, with a crackerjack tutorial on how to organize your kitchen.
We’ll be anxiously awaiting her tips for getting blood out of Egyptian cotton…