Ken Mehlman, former chair of the Republican National Convention, wants you to know that he’s gay and a proud virgin; okay, he didn’t want us to know the latter, but we do know, and it makes the story that much more salacious for tabloid hacks like us. Oh, how we love a good, public coming out story.
Mehlman recently came out to journalist Marc Ambinder of the Atlantic.
According to Ambinder:
Gawker: People were suspicious of Mehlman’s sexuality for years. Who knew? The people who “knew” are the people who Ken had sex with. But Ken says he had sex with no one, and told no one, because he didn’t want to tell anyone, because he was uncomfortable with that part of his life.
Instead, in the spirit of good (‘ol boy) form; Mehlman did what any repressed homosexual conservative politician does during his time in the national political spotlight; he bashed the gays. Hmm, looks like Mehlman may continue to have trouble finding a place to stick his pickle.
We gotta give it to Mehl though; he is trying to make progress, he’s now out of the proverbial closet; coming to the world as a gay man. But sadly for him, that seems as if that’s all the coming Mehlman’s got in him; we’re sure he’s worn out, opening that closet door has got to be exhausting.
Alas, someday, some queen will take pity on his poor, lost homosexual soul; making everything right in the world, turning Mehlman into a “real boy.” Or maybe he’ll get lucky and score a page up on the Hill; one hoping to extend his summer internship. Isn’t that part of our Checks and Balances system?
Alright Mehl, I’ll give it a tug, but just this once.
Ah, we can see the headlines now…