Christina has a big smile on her face today. Why you may wonder you randy gentlemen is because Christina recently achieved meaning in her life by banging a 1000 of you over the last 10 years. Curious? Take out a couple of rubbers, some KY jelly, a soft lit candle and let Christina seduce you too.
News of the world. co.uk: JUST like the characters in her favourite TV show, posh Christina Saunders knows good sex. And so she should, after seducing 1,000 MEN.
The university-educated brunette longed to be as confident in bed as Sex And The City maneater Samantha.
So she set herself a 10-year challenge – to get a thousand notches on her bedpost.
A ten year challenge? Which averages out to a 100 johns a year, which once again averages out to 8 and a third johns a month, which means 2 johns on average a week. Is that all? My ex girlfriend averages at least 4 johns a week, but now that she’s a committed lesbian that target has gone way down. Which still begs the question, how did our Christina actually find her men? Word of mouth, boozy one night stands, at the sauna, the internet, the post man?
She slept with at least one stranger a week, travelled the world hunting for men to bed, and took part in threesomes. But now Christina, 30, admits: “All I want is a man to love me – not one who just wants me for sex.”
Of course, all I want for Christmas is a Ferrari, because my friends ought to realize how wonderful I really am too. Chip in you bitches!
Christina decided to copy Sam, played by Kim Cattrall, 53, during a bout of flu at university in Bristol.
Until then she hadn’t been that interested in men, saying her first sexual encounter – with a friend while she was at secondary school – was “a disaster”.
And then before she knew it she was addicted to the good shit, men with thunder between their legs and that’s how Christina decided to become a nympho and started to keep a diary of all her conquests. Because once you start on the good shit, there’s no way of putting your undies back on and stopping.
By the time she left uni with a 2:2 degree in English and sociology in 2003 she’d slept with nearly 300 men. “I didn’t feel dirty, just empowered,” said Christina. “I was addicted.” A year later she moved to Clapham, South-West London, and started working for a PR firm. She’d pick up men in bars and go on 18-30 holidays to up her tally – once sleeping with 15 men in a week in Ibiza.
Which makes me wonder why wasn’t I at least clever enough to write Christina a letter of introduction the same week she was flying to Ibiza. I would have saved a few hundred dollars buying them dolled up European girls all that grog never seemed to do anything for me. Does Christina realize what a service she could be providing all the world’s pent up individuals who lack social skills at meeting women?
Now the challenge is over Christina does have regrets. “Good friends stuck by me but others accused me of being a slut. I took things too far. Now all I want to do is settle down. I just hope I haven’t put men off.”
Christina, personally we think you only just got the ball rolling. Could you be so kind to offer our intern your address for the next time we’re in your neck of the woods? We promise to bring the lube…