As we all know the world is getting to ready to take to the streets tomorrow in lieu of New Years eve partying. With the impending festivities a pseudo social green card to misbehave in public, cause if you did what you are planning to do any other evening you’d probably end up getting arrested or considered a social pariah. That said with the full sanctity of new year’s misbehavior on its way we’re pretty sure you’re going to wake up Friday regretting the following. A countdown of what you can expect to regret Friday morning.
1/ You will as usual probably drink to abandon and inevitably end up showing the world your new breast implants to a bunch of horny guys from NJ. Be careful, this could be the wrong way to start the year off, not that you care with 2 bottles of Jim Beans tucked under your saliva.
2/ You will also end up regretting stepping out of the house the minute you realize that the traffic backed up all the way to Times Square is where you will be spending the rest of the evening before you make it to your preferred party only to find it’s even more backed up there. But what the hell you’re a trooper and a glutton for self punishment.
3/ Thinking you are going to have the time of your life you will drop more than you planned tomorrow night until the heady realization the next morning that you don’t have any money for rent come January 1st.
4/ You will regret been seen in that zebra printed colored party dress tomorrow – so we warn you know- don’t do it.
5/ You are also going to regret doing all that blow in public. Please remember to keep your drug habits private, even if Lindsay Lohan doesn’t.
6/ You will regret twittering you love everyone at approximately a minute past 12 when in fact you secretly hate everybody.
7/ You will regret picking a fight with the drunk bastard Friday morning when you look at your shiny new black eye.
8/ Girls, you will regret giving away your phone number to all those guys tomorrow night. Remember it was just the blow talking.
9/ You will regret it when you realize that no cab is going to stop and pick up your drunk ass when you are finally crawling down Broadway.
10/ You will regret it when you wake up the next morning and turn over and realize the girl you thought was a girl is in fact a man this morning. Be careful, don’t go there unless you really have to.
