Staying high in America.
In case you didn’t know, doing drugs is an important aspect of contemporary life in America. This includes all the blunts you smoke, the crystal you blast, and all the valium you kick back. Of course, the real drug consumption is in pharmaceuticals- from Paxel, Prozac, Zoloft, Valtrex, Xanax and the thousand of others including Viagra (believe us we have seen dudes snorting it). That said, we concluded that the drug topic was little to broad for one article and decided to write about the one thing we know 90 % of America is using: Cocaine (assuming if we draw the colliery that 85 % of most legal tender has cocaine resin). So with out further ado, let us introduce the art of how to do drugs after the many years of watching coke heads on the street and all the Scarface replays.
Rule number 1.- Never get caught doing blow in public. If you must do it in public- do it in a crack den (where they cook it to it’s purest form and smoke it for a more brain frying experience), the bathroom of some bar/club or if you are like ‘Lilo’ in the middle of a room.
2/ Never do it alone. You will want to be able to feel miserable and desperate with other like minded souls and there’s nothing like being off your face at 4 am in the morning all by yourself.
3/ Don’t get too wishy washy and tell people your whole life story. Remember, it’s the drugs talking and we’d hate for you to be embarrassed the next day.
4/ If you are not a coke whore do not do more blow than appropriate because the people around you will notice and going for coke runs at 4am in the morning is not as easy as it sounds.
5/ In the event you are a coke whore, feel free to help yourself to as much blow as you like – just know at some point you will be obliged to ‘service’ your benefactor.
6/ If you have to choose between making your rent or buying blow we suggest the former.
7/ Never hoard. If you are the one supplying the product please don’t keep it all locked away because you will eventually alienate your coke head friends.
8/ If you have a life and things to do in the morning perhaps not doing blow may be the appropriate option. In the event you are a coke head, please ignore this suggestion.
9/ Never do more blow than you can handle. Watching a stuttering fool smacking their lips and trembling in the corner is an eyesore.
10/ Don’t haggle the drug dealer – he always know when he’s been had, keep it up and soon you will be snorting plasticine.
I hope this article was converted to English through Google translator, this is painful to read.