How to make out while dancing ad lib in a disco room.

Being young hot, latin and gay comes with lots of gravy these days but spare a thought for what it actually takes to maintain the stereo image of being impenetrable, uber good looking and redolent of a reincarnated Desi Arnez. Oh the push ups and the salsa meringues the boys have to memorize and commit to instant memory. That said let’s go over a list of confessions that could possibly make you blush but more than likely make you reach out for your nearest disco ball and out dated sun tanning lotion.

Confession number 1-

1/ Bitch tits are never the preferred thing but as long as he holds it well I am so game.

2/ Even when it’s winter maintaining a healthy glow tan is de rigeur- anything short of solid brown is just a crying shame and will relegate you as unlovable loser.

3/ When I go on dinner dates I always wait to see if he offers to pay first or not. If he offers I know I’ve got him between my balls, if he doesn’t I know I’ve got my work cut out for me.

4/ Suave moustaches are so hot and if he knows what’s good for him he better be growing one- Freddie Mercury eat your heart out.

5/ Telling me that you still live with your mother only gets my juices flowing even if I slap your face in public.

6/ Staring at Hot Latino boys is a passion that I can forever sustain.

7/ He must confess that he was brought up on rice and beans before I convert him to a sushi junkie bitch.

8/ Staring deep into my eyes will only make my heart flutter, but save this until after our first fight, I promise the sex will be better.

9/ Getting it on with other hot men behind my back only gets my blood boiling that said if I catch  you – you are history bitch!

10/ Dancing slow and dirty to Ricky Martin will always get me to fall in love with you over and over again fool.