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NY Mag tries to teach us how to assert our social superiority via Facebook status updates.

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facebookLaughing at the idiotic morse code cues that NY Mag would have us believe in.

We don’t know who made up these stupid rules or stupid games, but we are frankly very unimpressed, bored and of the belief we are dealing with an insecure set over at NY Mag who have suddenly made Facebook envy the de facto sport of every idiot and social climber that has made it as a media whore or more aptly a Facebook friend whore.

We wont regurgitate in detail the 5 idiotic new regiment and mind fuck games you are suppose to learn how to play ‘vaguely,as if accidentally but of course very assertively.’ Reminds this author of a very passive aggressive girlfriend he was very happy to get rid of.

In short for those of you who insist anyway-

1/ Carefully name drop. The gist of this is you definitely want to show off and show how insecure you are by trying to associate yourself with someone who is supposedly in the loved public eye. The author gives asinine tips that leave us laughing- ‘not too assertively, not too openly but expertly played darling!’

Note from Scallywag go back to Wisconsin, NY is confusing you!

2/ Second idiotic tip – under share fabulousness (as opposed to pathetic- ness…). This was too convoluted to even try and work out, but we propose you ask anyone of the million media whores who will be preening for our cameras during fashion week. Blah!

3/ Complain. Yes complain, but of course in a passive aggressive away bitches. The author states – “Your life is worthy of envy, but it is not perfect — otherwise everyone would hate you, and we can’t have that.”

Really who is this author? She or he must be a real nuisance. If I ever find out that they are my friend I will admonish them in person and immediately de- friend and then send them over to write for Nick Denton over at Gawker.

4/ Our favorite-‘SELF AGGRANDIZE VIA SELF – DEPRECATION.’this puppy needs a shrink and a long talk with their father, something is really messed up here- Please call your legal guardian this afternoon, you have things to discuss…

5/ Project. This just left us farting, and sighing. Project what my dear, for what purpose? Did you just graduate from “Gossip Girls High School?”

You make up your minds, but I’m warning all of my face book friends (you know whom you are) you take any of the above advice and I’ll just drop you.

Oh dear, when 19 year old girls/boys suddenly think they have worked out social mores….

Asserting Your Social Status With Your Facebook Status

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