Home Pop Culture Respecting the porn star; a lesson in how to love porn.

Respecting the porn star; a lesson in how to love porn.

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“Porn is good….” I once dated a young man in possession of every enviable physical quality available to human beings. Strong jaw, full lips, lean form, flawlessly shaped nose, not to mention brilliant, ambitious, brimming with integrity. Women writhed in gleeful pain at the very sight of him. His bed, if he so chose, would never be empty. Instead, he chose porn. No, not all the time, but a hell of a lot more than most men who have a steady girl to schtup and experiment with in the literal sack.

Yes, we know. Every man (and a special kind of woman) has at one point in his (or her) life owned a ‘shoebox’ whether literal or electronic – a small, personalized database of pornography. What we don’t know is why, for some people, this shoebox gets tossed out with other objects of former trends and why, for others, like my ex, the shoebox of idyllic intercourse forever stays. Then again he always did say –“porn is good.”

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I tried to bring this up with a girlfriend of mine who responded by admitting she’d recently started sleeping with another woman. (No, you can’t have her number). I told her I was envious. I was envious because I’d always wanted to be equipped for bi-sexual pleasures, and by “equipped,” I mean interested whatsoever. She thought this strange. I tried to explain to her that there’s something indeterminably sexy about a woman who enjoys sleeping with another woman.  She asked if I’d consider it. I told her I’d only venture to the other side under two conditions: 1. Nothing below the waist. 2. A man must be present. She questioned the second condition. I told her that without a man present, the ‘lesbionic’ heat would vanish for me, that without a man to watch I’d feel like I was seducing my sister.

I left the encounter determined to erase the question of non-traditional sex from my mind, but unconsciously countered this effort by watching Spike Jones’ twisted, filmic characterization of soul and sex – ‘Being John Malkovitch.’ Cameron Diaz’s character craves Catherine Keener who craves Diaz only when within the body of a man, that man being John Malkovich. When Diaz’s husband, John Cusack, interrogates Keener about her preference for Diaz over Cusack, Keener, lounging, legs semi-spread, smoking a cigarette with the sweet look of post sex fulfillment, says to Cusack “Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?”

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